Rules of the Internet

Some wisdom I’ve complied over the 20 years since I first discovered the internet:

  1. Never read comments
  2. Never respond to comments
  3. A website’s usefulness must always be greater than its beating
  4. Everything is about porn
  5. Avoid using Facebook Connect as your means to authenticate into anything
  6. Never “Like” your own posts
  7. Don’t use hashtags on sites that don’t support them (like the “old” Facebook)
  8. Don’t believe everything you read (websites often exaggerate)
    1. Don’t spread unconfirmed shit
    2. *Everything* is cuter/hotter on the Internet vs. real-life (don’t trust anything)
  9. If you want me to respond: Phone > Email > Text Message > Twitter Public Reply > Facebook Wall Post > Twitter DM > Facebook Message
  10. Never be the first to upgrade
  11. Log into only one account at a time
  12. Don’t write anything you aren’t prepared for anyone to read, especially the subject
  13. If you’re going to lie, make sure your Foursquare check-ins support your story
  14. Don’t rely on non-anticipated use cases (ex: Tweetbot 3 ridding itself of lists-as-default views)
  15. Be brief and to the point.
    1. Don’t use tweet lengtheners
    2. Don’t use Facebook Notes
    3. Just don’t

Interestingly, I remember when I first discovered the web. It was Spring 1996, I lived in Bruce Hall at the University of North Texas. Across the street was Chilton Hall, an academic building with both the closest and least-frequented computer lab on-campus. One day I intended to go Gopher some information and instead discovered a nifty little application called Mosaic. Soon after, I got sucked into the world of Netscape Navigator, and the rest of my online journey was history.